Warning... this is kind of a rant. I'm sorry. But I'm a little upset with my fiance right now...
Here's a little back story. My fiance, Greg, and I have been together just over 2 years now. We met online and were friends for a few months, then things progressed and feelings developed so now we're engaged and are planning to marry on January 7th or 8th, 2011. He lives in Pennsylvania; I live in Texas. We see each other every day via Skype and that is our main line of communication when we're not together in person.
He is an awesome person and an amazing fiance. Yes, he does do some things I wish he wouldn't, and sometimes he hurts my feelings or annoys me. That happens, and I am most certain I do those things to him as well. But for the most part he is very considerate of my feelings and very tender and affectionate toward me, which I love.
Sometimes he just makes stupid mistakes... like today. While I'm rushing around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to take care of all my responsibilities before he basically rushes down here, marries me, and swoops me off to Pennsylvania, he doesn't really have to do anything except work and wait until the day that he flies down here. Meanwhile, I have to give all my notices, for my job, my apartment, etc etc etc. I have a dead car sitting at a mechanic's lot who wants to fix it for $300 too much and no way to tow it away, though I wouldn't be able to afford the storage charges I've been wracking up all the time it's been sitting there anyway. I have to separate up my entire life into what I can live without, and what I can take to PA. I have two cats, and can only bring one to live with us... and no idea what to do with the other one... or which one I'll choose. I have to arrange for the Justice of the Peace to marry us and find a place for us to actually get married... by myself. Plus, work, pay bills, and just live my daily life.
Today while I'm at work I get a text message -- from Greg. Of course I can't check it till I actually get off work, which was at 3 pm. It says, "Baby I love you more than life and I am wasted." Great. So as I'm driving to my landlord's to give her notice that I'll be leaving, I call him and he doesn't answer. So I decide I'll leave him a voicemail, but while I'm waiting for the beep, he calls me back. I asked him where he was and he says, "At the bar, but I'm about to go home." I asked him again and again not to drive, but he swears he's okay. I beg him not to drive, and try to reverse the situation to make him realize how serious this is and how worried I am about him. He admits he would be very upset with me if I were the one planning on driving home drunk from the bar. Yet he insists he is alright and is getting in the car to drive home.
The man pisses me off sometimes. I know a lot of people drive while under the influence, and some people don't think it's that big a deal. Well, to me it is. He seems to have no problem with risking his own life, whether by using his laptop while in the bathtub (plugged in), or driving home drunk. When he does things like that, that risk his life, it feels like he doesn't really care about me. I know that's not true. I know he loves me, but doing things like that doesn't show it. If he doesn't take care of himself, how is he supposed to take care of me? I'm supposed to be able to count on him and entrust him with my life, and I can't do that if he's putting his own life in danger.
He is apologizing now (on Skype), and says he doesn't know why he drinks too much and then drives home. Whatever. All I know is I am not a happy camper and I will be even more unhappy if this is still a problem after we're married. I'd probably be a fool to think it would change just because he was a married man and had a wife to come home to after work. I guess we'll see.
--Tierney
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